2009年11月10日星期二
Even I myself thinks that I'm already dead, gone, evaporated...etc.
lols.
Had been preparing for exams larrh. Ah, life.
Flooded by books and notes and A4 papers and stationaries and calculator and......huh. Exhausted.
Glad that there is only two more practical papers left. Then IELTS. Then say hi to my wonderful longed for holiday!!!!
2009年9月24日星期四
A Vacation In Mind
Something that plays for seconds which I used more than 3 hours to complete.
Kisiao lah!! I must be CRAZY~~
Well it's a good try anyway, isn't it? Wish I could do more stuffs like this in the future...I mean during the holidays after A-levels...
Hope you guys enjoy it^^
微风
拂过卧室
像蜜糖里的气泡
淡淡的茉莉茶香
爬满鲜花的窗台
楼下喧闹的街道
瞥见你一闪而过的身影
是熟悉的温暖
2009年9月14日星期一
Until I accidentally ran into this girl's blog.
I was stunned.
I didn't realize how small and superficial I am.
The Lord has a great need today.
And He can have His way only if we are willing to fully cooperate with Him.
There are bunches of peaple sent to the lake of fire everyday.
There are lots young people living in vanity, heading to nowhere but the enemy's trap.
There are people working, striving and suffering every moment without taking God as their rest.
There are loads of believers who do not contain God in their spirit.
We need to preach the gospel, the high gospel, which is full of truths.
Only such high gospel can bring the Lord back.
Only when the gospel is preached throughout the whole inhabited earth,the Lord can be back.
We, human beings, play a crucial role in God's plan.
It all depends on whether we are willing to concecrate ourselves to Him, to let Him have the way.
By the way, I got the hymn from http://blog.xuite.net/chuan8318/blog/8381585
It can't be attached here...just listen to it in the above webpage
答應得勝的呼召
每當思念大马地,淚洗面心憂傷,
千百萬人在喪亡,你我在何方?
曾經飛越太平洋,盼將來衣錦還鄉。
神憐憫,你我蒙恩,得生命識神經綸。
今活著,應向神,遵主意,速興起。
(副)整行裝,莫遲疑,要出去,傳福音。
聖靈大風今吹到,遍地熟稼發白了。
機不可失在今日,答應得勝的呼召。
君不見民工遍地,尋出路如羊迷,
背井離鄉來異地,生死有誰理?
流落四方無朝夕,血汗榨乾錢無幾。
你我同為神器皿,在神眼中同價值。
速興起,要出去,救萬人,揚真理。
君不見校園林立,青年人無目的。
世界魔鬼大張口,成群被吞噬?
心靈空虛難自持,知識理想只瞬时。
你我已蒙神憐憫,白白得來當送去。
速興起,要出去,到校園,得青年。
君不見廣廈密佈,人如潮車如流,
各地居民千千萬,福音有誰傳?
生老病死一代代,成群結隊火湖煎。
耶穌見人慈心動,你我豈能不動情?
速興起,要出去,遍各方,救靈魂!
基督再來迫眉睫,踏腳石頭難找。
國度福音要廣傳,誰願受差遣?
不是被提就殉道,答應呼召莫漏掉。
得勝在於同主行,不要再把藉口找。
速興起,要出去,轉時代,在今朝。
2009年9月13日星期日
Late night
the time when deep feelings arise
when they boil and coil in the air
and they vapourise and fill the air.
Miss you,
although I tried sooo hard
to keep stopping myself from thinking of you .
I'm so sorry but I love you.
It was all lies.
And without me knowing
I had let you leave.
Don't look back and leave
because I have no regrets loving you
take only the good memories.
You are always there within
making me so fed up of it.
There are lots of things in reality that we have to bear with.
There are lots of things that we can do nothing about but accept.
Goodbye.
Enjoy your campus life with others
and maybe another girl as well.
Although I knew that it would end up like this since the last day we met
I never had regrets loving you.
II
Thank you for being a serving one.
Sorry, but you are a serving one.
Dare I cause the body of Christ to lose its oneness?
And would I ever be able to defeat God?
Neither would you.
In fact, it isn't good for you to lose the testimony and pattern before the sheep you are taking care of.
Miss you,
although I tried sooo hard
to keep stopping myself from thinking of you
to keep avoiding myself from admitting it.
I'm so sorry but I love you.
It was all lies.
It was awesome for us to know what's in each other's heart finally, after eight month's waiting and observation.
It was jubilant to realise that you reacted exactly the same as I did, when I tried to control myself at the same time when I looked at you.
The feeling was unspeakable when we look into each other's eyes,
when there was a rythmic flow from you to me.
And to be taken care of was like being surrounded by warmth, which was especially thick and meaningful to a girl who has to leave her family and best friends and stand alone in facing all sorts of challenges in campus life.
You made me feel as if I've found something lost in those wonderful days.
Why me among so many?
I wonder
Yet I dare not think further to find out the answer.
After all it had all came to an end, right?
Impossibility.
Keeps pounding and pounding in my mind, again and again.
There are lots of things in reality that we have to bear with.
There are lots of things that we can do nothing about but accept.
There are lots of things in reality that we have to force ourselves to learn in order to fit in.
I'm not overreacting to be realistic, but unfortunately both of us live in a world of reality.
Sorry, but this is the only best thing I can do for you.
I hate myself. And I hate the flesh, so much.
Subtle Satan.
I'm so sorry, but I love you, it's all lies.
Will you be taking only the good memories?
You wouldn't know
probably for ever
that I bear more pain than you do.
It seemed as though I was alright
I laughed and talked and had fun and avoided your eyes
pretending to be strong and doesn't care
Coz i knew that there is no other way,
so it had to be done once and for all.
"Be strong," I repeated again and again to myself.
Deep down within my heart was bleeding
AGAIN AND AGAIN.
until an extent that it is dumb towards everything.
It dies, it fades, it is bruised and ruined day by day.
From another point of view, isn't it good to be dumb?
With no feelings, one suffers no pain.
2009年9月11日星期五
I become more and more glutton recently~~
I waste a lot of time and money and chemical energy and ATP exercising my jaws and munching and biting and chewing and digesting...eww. Disgusted. But unstoppable. Yuck.
Aww. Why am I ALWAYS hungry?!
And I know that I've caused troubles. But it's not me!!! It's the hormones!I didn't ask for it...T.T
It's in the flesh , it's in the body, it's something uncontrollable.
I hate hormones. So much.
This morning some conflict arose between me and my roomates.
I do not like conflicts, and I am afraid of facing each other after something nasty has happened. Yet I am not afraid this time, if this is what will happen after I've asked Your permission before I did it. It wasn't a pleasant morning since then, but anyway I just don't care. Your presence strengthens me.
Thank You Lord, I love You.
The goal of the gospel is that loving the Lord Jesus with the first love. We would pour out upon Him what is most precious to us, even our most costly and valuable spiritual treasure, wasting ourselves upon Him.
I do not know how far can I go, but in You I have faith. Guide me and lead me Lord, to love You with a single and pure heart, giving You the first place in everything.
Lord Jesus, what a wonderful name.
Thank You for taking away whatever I want and have, and replace all these by Yourself. You are all I need...Lord, keep me in a continuos enjoyment in You.
You are always there beside me, no matter what happens.
2009年8月18日星期二
I'm not like what you've imagined, I'm not like what you think I ought to be.
Since long ago, I've made a strong decision not to get involved in love affairs ANYMORE.
Yet easily you broke into the high castle deep down within.
I HATE this.
I HATE this.
Cause this makes myself out of control.
How humiliated and disastrous.
I wonder what are you thinking.
Will you still feel the same if you've seen me in Taylors?
The supernoob girl who always wears long pants and a foolish tee, with lousy hairstyle and unimpressive features?
Look at those hotties out there.
Who am I??!!
I know that your ex wasn't a hottie. So I don't have to really aim for that.
I'm not comparing myself to her.
I'm comparing myself to YOU.
Well, you've chosen your ex because she is in the same world with you. She can comfort you whenever you need somebody beside you.
Well, it's not the same for my case.
Sigh.
You're impressed by my XXXXX.
XXXXX can be fake, realy fake though.
I've tried to make myself fit in your world, but I'm not sure how far I've reached.
We are no longer in the same world, we may probably get bored of each other if there is nothing that links us together.
What's more poisoning is, a guy like you really deserve a better girl.
I wish to hear about your dark side, to see how wicked and random you can be.
At least by doing this I have to give up hope, and be totally at the safe side-even if I have to bear the pain.
Yet by having such an ex whom you've poured out your heart to, I am given hope to think that the same thing is now happening to another lucky girl (me?) as well.
If you are really THE ONE, I hope that the Lord will bless us.
I miss you right down here.
It is something which I've NEVER thought would happen.
Alright, maybe I did. Anyway it wasn't as deep as it is now when I was imagining about it.
It overloads until I can't bear it anymore. I'm going to have trials when you are here, and whatever happens will shake me heavens and earth.
I wish to see you here right now, wish to listen to you, to know what's your idea about this whole pile of crap.
Confusing, attractive, yet fatal.
I would die in your hands one day.
And I'm quite sure about it.
Well maybe I'm ALREADY DEAD in your hand.
You are going to break the world record, dude, for contributing such great affect on somebody within three hours.
I'm addicted. I'm out of control.
In fact, I wouldn't want to leave this dreamland, unless I'm forced to.
Haru Haru
Don’t look back and leave
Don’t find me again and live on
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you like this
I become dull day by day
LeaveYeah,
Finally I realize that I am nothing without you
I was so wrong, forgive me
My broken heart's like a wave
My shaken heart's like a wind
My heart vanished like smoke
It can’t be removed like a tattoo
I sigh deeply as if a ground is going to cave in
Only dusts are piled up in my mind(say goodbye)
Yeah, I thought I wouldn’t be able to live even one day without you
But somehow I managed to live on (longer) than I thought
You don’t answer anything as I cry out “I miss you”
I hope for a vain expectation but now it’s useless
What is it about that person next to you, did he make you cry?
Dear can you even see me, did you forget completely?
I am worried, I feel anxiety because I can’t get close nor try to talk to you
I spend long nights by myself, erasing my thoughts a thousand times
[Chorus]
Don’t look back and leave
Don’t find me again and live (on)
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like thisI become dull day by day
Oh girl I cry, cry
You’re my all, say goodbye…
If we pass by each other on the street
Act like you didn’t see me and go the way you were walking to
If you keep thinking about our past memoriesI might go look for you secretly
Always be happy with him, (so) I won’t ever get a different mind
Even smallest regret won’t be left out ever
Please live well as if I should feel jealous
You should always be like that bright sky, like that white cloud
Yes, you should always smile like that as if nothing happened
[Chorus]
Don’t look back and leave
Don’t find me again and live (on)
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like thisI become dull day by day
Oh girl I cry, cry
You’re my all, say goodbye…
I hope your heart fees relieved
Please forget about me and live (on)
Those tears will dry completely
As time passes by
It would’ve hurt less if we didn’t meet at all
Hope you will bury our promise of being together forever babyI pray for you
[Chorus]
Don’t look back and leave
Don’t find me again and live (on)
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like thisI become dull day by day
Oh girl I cry, cry
You’re my all, say goodbye…
Oh girl I cry, cry
You’re my all,
say goodbye, bye
Oh my love don’t lie, lïe
You’re my heart, say goodbye...
2009年4月17日星期五
2009年3月30日星期一
Chong Hwa in Remembrance
突然很想念中华。
看子嵻的部落格,跟晋豪讲电话,好想加入他们的范围。然而,蓦地发现,我已经完全不属于那个世界了。再,也走不进去。
已经,是那么遥远。
甚至会怀疑,自己是否真的曾经在那里存在过。
想要回到过去。
然而在那里的我不是有过很多痛苦的回忆吗?
人总是这样,没有失去时是不会珍惜的。
中华,培育我的摇篮。
在Taylor’s,的确是得到自由,重获新生了,却同时失去了中华所能给我的一切美好。
譬如好老师(
什么时候开始,自己竟然变得如斯不堪。
在这里,的确是自由了,原以为得到了自己所要的,没料到伴随而来的是孤寂,加倍地笼罩我,如斯沉重。就像被放逐到荒岛上一样。说是自由,其实更像是流浪。被世界遗忘了。
一个人走,学着坚强并不好受。还有五年的大学生涯呢。
刚看了子嵻的部落格。那个很厉害的大忙人。却,寂寞。无法想象,自己从前曾经跟他如此靠近过。
舞台的灯光越辉煌,影子越黑暗。
若是有重新选择的余地,我会选择随心所欲,快乐而一无所成,还是在舞台上发光发热,背影却虚空得可怕?。。。
记得自己在第一篇部落格里说过的话吗?那时刚离开中华,那个榨汁机。。。不错,一个人的精华都被挤出来了,但剩下的是干痆的渣滓。就像我的中学生涯一样。空洞。乏味。
话说回来,那时刚来Taylor’s的我曾下定决心,不让青春留白,好好过的精彩。
然而,放弃追逐成就而一无所成的青春,能有多精彩?
遗失了努力的心,没有好成绩后,日子变得很迷惘。
荣誉、成就VS快乐、精彩,我无法抉择。
也许我所需要的只是个平衡点,而不是极端的任何一方。
努力地自我调整中。希望自己快点找到那个平衡点。
我仍然坚信,两者都是能同时拥有的。只是优先权是在于成就。
2009年3月28日星期六
Can I genetically modify human beings?
I mean
I know that it’s a YES for fertilised ovum and foetus
and those biological stuffs, of course
But what I want to ask is
About human
Born ones.
Just like you and me.
The incredibility of reality makes me suffocate.
Everything’s predestinated, right?
No doubtly.
However
I’m desperate
Yet feeling hopeless.
I just wanna be myself
Just wanna be the way I want myself to be.
I know that I can’t change the world
But can I at least have the mini little right to change my own world?
2009年3月25日星期三
2009年3月20日星期五
寂寞暴走
最近要考试了,压力很大,不知怎么的就上网看到了飞轮海的寂寞暴走MV。
看了之后真是超喜欢的!
炎亚伦好酷哦!
之前的他都给我很邻家男孩的感觉,就是亲切温柔很接近的那种,但是这个里他转变很大呢。
亚伦长大了噢,从小男孩变成大人了。
而且很型哦,尤其是他摔头盔的那一幕,超man的!我的心跳也在极速暴走哦!
其实为什么我会把这个MV放进部落格呢,是因为我觉得这个MV有很大的突破,真的很值得一提。
比起之前的MV,它让我看到飞轮海成长了很多。很欣慰。
拍摄效果好棒。会抓角度,用不同的场景,加上背景的颜色好美。不过在这里看画面应该会比较差啦,因为是analogue变digital。看得出导演很厉害很有水准。
还有他们四个合体唱时各个的动作不会打架,而且配合起来刚刚好很搭。
我很喜欢它的歌词,超赞的!遗憾的是飞轮海最近出的新歌歌词都好简单哦,说穿了就是没有内涵。幼稚,像儿歌一样。不过寂寞暴走这首歌的词意境唯美,我听了也有置身其境的错觉。
还有很突出的一点就是他们的演技变得更自然了,尤其是亚伦,让人看得很投入。
最重要的是,他们不仅帅气,而且都很man很型得不得了。
整个的灵魂就是让人眼前一亮,很出色很哇的感觉。轻易地,夺取了我的心,为他们喝彩。
2009年3月12日星期四
看到他的落寞,不知为何我也会很难过,尽管我跟他不大熟。
想想自己,自己也不是常常让那样的神情流露在拉瑟的脸上吗。
看见揉翰的失望和落寞的神情,只是一次罢了,我就已经难过的不得了,但是对于自己一次又一次地伤害拉瑟,我竟然可以无动于衷,而且还乐在其中。
是出于强烈的报复心理吗?爱之深,责之切也。
还是因为习惯了,所以才没感觉呢?
算了,反正是他先反咬我的。我想报仇都还来不及呢。他活该。
但是至少我没有像贵族那样欺骗感情啦。
不明白为什么贵族那么残忍,把自己一时的快乐建立在别人长期的痛苦上。
要证明自己的魅力,非要用这种卑鄙的手段吗。美丽,健谈,活泼,可爱,聪明。。。你要怎么表现自己都无所谓,但是一直调情让人家以为你喜欢他,陷进漩涡里了你又抽身而退,还装作无辜,是不是太过分了。
不过揉翰还好吧。昨天看他好像没像星期二那么伤心了。
不好意思噢贵族,拆穿了你的计划呢。没办法啦,有时我觉得我的想法跟你还蛮像的,所以你要做什么、目的是什么我都猜到。我们的不同点只是我不屑做这种事。而且像你这样的人我一生中还遇到不少。。。十诫,Esther, 我妹。。。
对了,昨天贵族把揉翰的BIO考卷给回他。
她走向他时,我很好奇她会怎么面对他。不会尴尬吗?
那揉翰会不会很讨厌很讨厌她呢?
岂知,他说了声谢谢。而且语气很。。。
呜哇~!!!
对欺骗自己感情的女人还能这么polite。。。好感动。。。不知为何,连我的心都溶化掉了呢。
我想起了拉瑟,也是这样,很gentleman,很nice很温柔。
可能是因为还被她吸引,所以看不见她心里的那条slug吧。
2009年3月10日星期二
选择爱一个人,是如此难。
我真的很想把真心话都告诉你, 可是你会懂吗?
语言,始终是我们之间的隔阂。
不了解,是把我俩分开的深渊。
对你,有好多的怨言。
对着印着诗歌的纸张,突然想起了我们在巴士上第一次的谈话。
你大概认为那是我们第一次近距离接触吧
我想你不会想到吧,其实我老早就对你有好感了。
记得在Jerantut的时候,你和Daniel弹吉他,那时我就觉得你们很型。
在山洞里探险时跟你还蛮近的。就是有种想跟你的感觉。
我还对你说过令人生气的话,临别时跟你道歉,你莫名其妙地看着我。
接着在高中训练知道你也有报名四个月训练。
在巴士上,我们唱诗歌。我的英语烂到贴地,你又不懂华文,大部分时间都是你在讲,欣赏你的我心里偷偷高兴着,虽然我听得似懂非懂。
那是我们感受彼此最开心的一次吧,那个画面到现在还存在我的脑海里。
训练开始了
你在意我了
我逃避了。
你伤心了
我后悔了
不忍心了。
于是就互相吸引了。
训练中我们没什么机会聊天,你看我时我总是害羞地别过头去。也许这样久了,你觉得我在拒绝你吧。
我喜欢儿童展览时,你给我蓝色气球的那一幕(那时蓝色是我们俩都最爱的颜色)。就是两小无猜,单纯的爱恋。
谁也不知道,后来我们怎么会变得如斯复杂又不堪。
还记得我是怎样感受你的背叛。那时的我有错,因为我丑了。这是也许好的,至少你让我认识到对爱情要抓住原则才能成功的道理。而男生的原则就是外表。我笨,笨得以为写一张纸条就能挽回一个男生的心。我在严谨的训练里写了张含义不明的纸条给一个不曾把爱说出口的人。
你退后了,我哭了,心碎裂了。
很不甘心,明明Esther,大虫,十诫都是有过的,而且玩得比我还过火,为什么就是只有我老实到留证据让自己被捉。
那封信的事,我以为你会保密的。常识嘛。
岂知你没有。不止这样,知道了的还有训练中的国才,芳薇,KL的服事者,Susee,Phoebe Lim,还有那个传消息很厉害,什么都懂的En-gedi。。。
直到现今,他们还是以为是我犯贱,自动送上门。
这些冤枉、痛苦,都是我一个在背负。而你竟然可以若无其事地置身事外。一个人孤立的感觉,你受过吗?全世界都是背向你的,而连对最亲近你的人也不能说你的心声,你知道那是什么滋味吗?面子,爱情,声誉,信任,温暖。。。所有对我来说最重要的东西,一瞬间被你全夺走了!
我好恨,好恨好恨你!
常常幻想有个机会,四下无人的时候可以狠狠地打你、打你、打你,发泄累积这么久的怨气。。。
有时我天真地想,你会不会是为了保护我,不想要我被开除才宁可假装没事。
但是回想那时的情景,
你,逃避了。
尔后,当我选择放下,努力走出伤悲时,你又老在我身后出现,偷偷注视着我。
我记得很清楚,有一次洗碗碟时,你透过窗口在后面看着我。我生气你,不想理你,若无其事假装你不在。后来要擦碗碟时我看见碗布湿了,就拿去拧干,明明还有另一块一模一样的布,你偏偏死都要等我拧干、擦好我的碗碟,然后用我用过的那块。
我还要努力忍耐地避开你一直跟随的目光,假装没事,要不然又有服事者以为我发情了。
如果不是你突然逃避,让我恨你到无可救药,如果不是有国才在旁边,提醒我保持清醒理智,也许我会因为这样而感动到泪流成河。。。(我恨自己这么容易原谅你,恨自己不吸取教训。)
我不明白,好想问个清楚。
但是现实容许吗?
多久多久,我们习惯了逃避、沉默,以至于误会的往事到现在还扎心地疼。
金马伦,我们无言的离别了。
五月的训练,我们再见了。头发长了拉直了,你又粘过来了。
一周后,又是无言的离别。
七月,我到了梳邦。
接着又开始了时冷时热的追逐
当梦要延续时,又是离别的时候
一周后再见,已经冷却了
老是这样反反复复的,我累了。
现在你又老跟着我了,甩不掉。看你望着我的眼神,表情,你所做的,我肯定你是爱过我的。现在还是如此。
然而我还敢把自己脆弱敏感的心交给你吗?
有时我在想,神为什么安排我们成为彼此的试炼呢?难道我们真的有缘以后共结连理。
然而我祷告希望那个人并不是你。我受够了。
我要的是一个可依靠,能干,成熟的大哥哥,而不是一个还要我照顾的弟弟。
要不然我还没生孩子之前就已经要照顾一个了。
你懦弱,无为(对不起,老庄时代已经过很久了),比我还不会想,不会给你所爱的女人带来幸福。现在连最基本的逗我笑你都做不到了。
我逃避你的目光,尽管我的心动摇了,飘向你了。。。因为我不想再深陷下去―神不是已经把我救出来了吗。
而且有这些服事者在周围,我们又能怎样自由来往呢。
加上以前的事,恐怕又是只有我被当作错的那一方吧。
我想过了,好久好久,始终觉得我们之间的幸福是不可能的。
真的很想跟你说,不要再缠着我了。知不知道,这会让我往回掉进我好不容易爬出来的深渊里。
也许前面有一个机会让我开口吧。我希望有。
星期五。家排聚会前一个小时,跟两年全时间训练学员(美清和嘉玮),心欢和淑慧去AC吃晚餐。
在沙捞越面档点食物,转身要走时遇到邓家豪。好巧。
原本只想打招呼就走的,但是他先开腔跟我说话了。
我突然好紧张,咽了口水。幸好那时他转过头,没发现到。哈哈。
原来他刚打完球回来,约了女朋友见面。
他问我读什么,哪一班,最近怎样等等。
我说他的女朋友很美,他干笑了几下。
我问她的女朋友怎样了,怎么最近没看到她。原来她去找朋友玩好几天。
说到AS Trial,哇,原来他和彦维都拿straight A。我不能输!
然后他讲电话,又好像还不让我走,我sweat…就在一边等。
后来他的女朋友经过,他喊她的名字(Jillian)。要她过来吧。她走错方向时,他还不耐烦说了一句“她傻的啦!”
我想他大概是要正式地让我和彼此介绍吧。但是又感觉怪怪的。而且发现附近孝陆在看。(他怎么会突然在这里啊?)不要啦,很paise耶,他如果介绍的话看起来就会好像我是被拒绝的第三者那样。。。而且我还没有心理准备面对酱的场面耶。
我觉得现在吃东西好像比较重要噢。
所以我就跟他道别了。他说有空再聊,表情好像我的离开让他失望了。
对不起啦家豪,哈哈,没有配合让你的计划成功。不好意思本奶奶今天没那个心情陪你玩。
对了,不知道他和女朋友是不是有了纠纷呢,因为他说到他时的语气不像是恋爱中的人会有的。嗯,算了,不关我的事。原本还想好好祝福他们的说。。。
事后想想,幸好我这半年来没缠着他,不识相地在他女朋友在的场面跟他说话。
幸好最近她的女朋友不在,让我们能渐渐放下心防,接近对方聊聊。
幸好我没有问他是不是分手了(反正他的样子也不像刚分手的败犬),不然就大条了,好像我很幸灾乐祸似的。
我希望今天成功地证明了自己的改变,让他们知道可以放心的接近我,我不再是从前那个主棱了。而令我改变,长大,成熟,懂事的,不是别人,正是宇宙的神,天地的主,那昔是今是以后永是的一位。他配得我们的赞美。
很高兴,终于化解尴尬了
我相信一切都是出于登宝座那一位的主宰,没有他,人不能作什么.
“神为爱他的人所预备的,是眼睛未曾看见,耳朵未曾听见,人心也未曾想到的.”
赞美主,如今我能见证这句话.
没事就好了。家豪和女友,彦维,李蓉,开河…
现在,下一步只希望能把福音传给你们,希望你们能得救.
认识你们这么久了,都还没传福音给你们,实在亏欠…
要还我的福音债.
我还好。
一方面来说她是我的梦想,另一方面来说我不屑她的为人。
说她是我的梦想,是因为她美貌和智慧兼具,而且很friendly,这样的人去到哪里都会成为佼佼者,哪里都能生存,并且成为众人瞩目的焦点。
至于我的不屑,大概很多人都有同感,我也不必多说了(说得不文雅一点是懒惰写。。。反正写了也只会破坏我的心情,弄脏我的部落格)。
贵族就是那种超性感的坏女人,很厉害,也很敢显示她的魅力。
布莱恩,巴旭,显能。。。都着迷了吧。(不好意思话题有点敏感,读不懂的人请私下问我,读得懂的不要讲出去。)
对了最近还加一个揉翰,虽然丝丝说没有,但我还是执著于自己的直觉。毕竟我的ex也跟揉翰很像,所以我觉得那个反应,眼神和表情就是一模一样的。怎样?丝丝,不给吗?这里是我的blog耶。
然而我觉得她那样子很破坏友情,很cheap,贬低了她那三个朋友的人格。虽然他们大概一向来都没有什么人格可言啦。哈哈。
我也觉得她的加入,让我对她那gang的人都没了好感。可是这是proven as错觉,因为一跟他们说笑起来又觉得他们还是跟以前一样的。只是发现原来巴旭和布莱恩的性情比较花吧。
班上很多女生都很讨厌她,甚至说她来了之后就觉得班上怪怪的。
也许是同性之间的嫉妒吧。不过人家就是有那个本钱嘛。我们没有的凭什么批评呢。男生就是会对这种脱开乖宝宝形象的女生着迷、疯狂啊。而且事实就是她敢,别的女孩不敢。
要取悦男人,不是一件简单的事。
反正都不关我的事啦。我有主就够了。他会为我作最好的安排,我的未来都不用担心,祷告就是了。
只有主所配偶的才能蒙祝福,我愿意活在这原则里。
有时真的很想对那些在爱情里挣扎的人呐喊:“止息你一切的劳苦愁烦吧!来就主得安息!”
反正结婚的年龄都还没到,那个人不会这么快出现的。
就算你真的得到了男朋友又怎么样?过不久还是会觉得,不过是虚空的虚空。
而且男人有什么好?不过是另一个堕落的人。两个堕落的家伙相碰,会有什么好事发生呢。
我原本也是个超级渴望爱情的女生,很容易受伤,很需要保护。甚至我到一种跟一个男生讲话就会幻想和他谈恋爱的情形的地步。但是感谢神的怜悯,让我觉悟,并且能作见证说只有神才是最好的,而且是可爱的,只有他能使我成为今天这个人。(虽然我还有很多缺点啦,但是至少我的拣选并没有错,而且主会带领我成为更敬虔,将他神圣的属性更完满地显出来的人。)
男朋友、丈夫
神
他在的时候才能陪你,不在时就不能陪你了;得空时才能陪你,不得空就不能了(小心,这时的他还可能会发脾气,小心不要被烧到)
无论你在何时何地,他都与你同在
如果他有良心一点,还会听你讲心事,尽管心里不耐烦地在骂你一些你听了会把他宰掉的话;如果很不幸地他是个没有良心的男人的话就。。。不用讲了
他与喜乐的人同乐,与哀哭的人同哭。
他什么都知道,要说的话就算开不了口,他也了解。你能完全的把自己交给他。
很少很少很少有情侣能够心心相印到完全了解对方的地步
他在创造世界以前就预定了你的存在,比你还了解你自己
刚开始还好,相处久了就厌了,甚至闹不合了
他是常新不衰的,每次接触他都是新鲜的
所以神才是最好的男朋友、情人、丈夫啊!不用再挣扎寻找,自讨苦吃了!只要说:“哦,主耶稣”他就来了,你就可以遇见他了!
当然我不是因为没有男朋友而贬低人,反正现在的我都不想要有了。只是要作出比较说无论男朋友多好,神总是好过他。
我也知道世上有很多很好的男朋友,但是拥有他们的人是在黑暗里,面临许多的忧虑;惟有拥有神这情人的是在光中,毫无忧虑,能凡事都交给他。
爱神,是人的定命。达到者就会蒙福,否则一切消极的事物都随之而来。
有人可能会问:“那么如果我不爱他,怎么办呢?”你只要跟他祷告:“主啊,怜悯我,使我成为爱你的人。”
读到的人,愿神怜悯你。
2009年2月23日星期一
所以就晒出来给大家看看咯
不好意思小小还不会把歌放上部落格。。。所以想要听这首歌的人就等一等吧。。。
还有麻烦有谁会的教一下小小好吗。。。
奉献成为耶稣的见证
主耶穌,我是真愛你,願意單純,贖回我所有的光陰,享你愛恩。
哦看哪!我能在今天全然奉獻,是因你始終的恩眷,奇妙成全。
求你開通我耳,在你這神家的門,當你發出呼聲,我願意永遠向你忠誠。
把我印在你心,以你愛甚至你嫉恨;讓我一生作你瘋狂愛人。
榮耀神,今願在這裡,向你屈膝,賜我們智慧啟示靈,得見奧秘。
這一生只願投身你神聖經營,只為你永遠的心意︰基督身體。
在我調和靈裡,帶我進身體實際;享你加強救恩,使我們成耶穌的見證。
主阿!願你快來!照著你所曾經答應;我們唯一羨慕是你再臨。
2009年2月2日星期一
曾经很想找个男朋友,甚至于这成了我努力追逐的梦想。从来没有想到 , 现在会打扮了,成熟了,学会搞好人缘了,有人追了,我却不要接受了。
不是因为不要他,而是因为有了更美好的。就像一幅图画: 一个小孩看见窗外很迷人的风景, 就抛开手中正在玩的玩具, 被吸引得把身子探出窗户去看那风景。
我的心是脆弱敏感的。很需要一个能给我依靠,时时陪在我身边,能够给我安全感的人。他能引领我,厉害得令我崇拜,我可以放心地把自己完全交给他, 就像一个小女孩被大哥哥照顾,什么也不用担心。
寻寻觅觅,几经迂回,痛了好久, 至终才发现原来你就是我所要的。远远超越我的所需。
从来不曾尝过,原来你是如此美好, 在一起的时光竟然那么美好, 总觉得不够。
谢谢你先爱了我, 在我软弱失败的时候没有放弃我。万王之王, 你竟爱我如此的深。
不会再离开。
也许别人不能了解。但这喜乐真是口不能言,世人所不知。是我已拣选我主与我神。
主啊,我爱你。保守我,使我日过一日爱你更深,更多享受你的甜美。。。
Divine Romance
How could a country girl like me
Become Your match — Your bride to be?
You're holy and You are divine
But I'm fallen and human.
Without You, Lord, I have no chance
To be like You in this romance.
But You chose me ere the world began
Nothing could change Your plan.
This divine romance
Is My heart's deep plan.
I became a lowly man
To court My country girl.
Nothing could deter,
Nothing can alter
My eternal love for her;
I'll gain My country girl.
No man or angel ever knew
This secret hidden deep in You
That You desired to be one with man
Before the world began.
Though sin came in to ruin me
Through Satan's scheme and subtlety
Nothing could break Your love for me
To gain me totally.
This divine romance
Is My heart's deep plan,
I became a lowly man
To court My country girl.
Nothing could deter,
Nothing can alter
My eternal love for her;
I'll gain My country girl.
As King of kings You became a man,
You died for me—I've been redeemed,
In resurrection made us queen
To marry You, my King.
From death You 'rose and entered me,
I now possess Your divinity;
In life and nature we're the same:
Both human and divine.
In Your love I'm drawn,
To You I belong;
I am not my own, Lord,
I'm Yours alone.
By Your love I'm drawn,
In Your name I'm charmed,
And Your Person captured me,
For I've been kissed by Thee.
Lord, in this close sweet fellowship,
Lord, be with me so intimate,
So personal and affectionate;
A sweet relationship.
Lord, daily change my inward being
Lord, all my heart possessing
In all my being—transforming
To be Your bride and queen.
This divine romance
Is My heart's deep plan,
I became a lowly man
To court My country girl.
Nothing could deter,
Nothing can alter
My eternal love for her;
I'll gain My country girl.
我真希望,也向你祷告,愿更多的人停止为自己凿出破裂不能存水的池子,尝到你的甘甜, 作他们完满的享受。
Taking revenge makes me feel much better than falling in love. Walau, thanks a lot for the fun. Dude, maybe it’s the best part of our relationship.
It makes me feel wonderful when I see your expression at the moment you looked at the gorgeous me. Beauty is the special weapon for women - it’s such a great loss that I knew this fact a bit late. If I could know this earlier, I don’t have to suffer this much. Anyway, goodbye the old ugly, unconfident Zhu Ling. It’s a new start from now on.
I don’t know how to express my feeling of relief…well, maybe a thanks for the pain you’ve caused. After all you made me grow up. However, it is good to see all these sufferings come to an end.
I wonder how can you be so cruel. The initiator, the irresponsible and denier as well. It was difficult to accept the fact about whom you actually are. Much more harder than what I imagined.
I’ll be strong. No more looking back to the past.
Gambateh yo, Misty. I know you can. Show your best. Do not let anyone look down on you - especially those who mocked and made you cry.

